Kate Clugston

Salmagundi

“With baked, and broiled, and stewed, and toasted,

and fried, and boiled, and smoked, and roasted.

We treat the town. Fee Faw Fum” Salmagundi 1807

Salmagundi: The etymology of Salmagundi stems from the French word salmigondis which means disparate assembly of things, ideas or people, forming an incoherent whole. And there is a lot to be said about the incoherent whole. It’s a beautiful paradox. A mish-mash, slap-dash assortment of things bound together.

Salmaguni the recipe dates back as early as 1565.

Salmagundi the periodical or (the Whim-Whams and opinions of Launcelot Langstaff Esq. and others) first published in 1807 by Washington Irving

I performed Salmagundi at the Inaugural Columbia Heights Arts Salon in Washington DC on January 16th, 2010

Here is a sample of text. I’ve chopped up the original text and given it some alternate rhythms, a mish-mash of contemporary spoken word set against some of the older ways of writing.

-

I delight in everything,

everything novel

everything eccentric

An old coat for a new idea- yes!

Strangers- hell yeah!

-

And being as I am, delighting in new things and eccentricites

I am particularly attentive to the manners and conversations of strangers

Oh Gotham Gotham! Most delightful of cities- how does my heart swell with delight when I behold your spaient inhabitants lavishing their attention with such wonderful discernment.

But scarcely a traveler enters this city whose appearance offers anything original

Yet, I form an acquintence with him

And I suffer manifold afflictions

My curiosity: punished

Punished by the endless stupidity of a blockhead

Punished by the shrill verbosity of a coxcomb

My curiosity: punished

My shopping trolley: murdered

My groceries: JUST GONE

-

I delight in everything,

everything novel

everything eccentric

An old coat for a new idea- yes!

Strangers- hell yeah!

-

I would prefer to timetravel with bullocks through a Carolina SandFlat

than plod through heavy unmeaningful conversations.

I would sooner hold sweet converse with the wheel of a knife sharpener

than endure monotonous chattering.

-

These strangers who flock to this most pleasant of earthly cities

are generally birds of passage whose plummage is as gay as anything I own.

Do you hear what I am saying:

Strangers flock, birds of passage, plummage:gay

My curiosity: punished.

For their notes “heaven save me” are as unmusical as those of the classic night bird

the ancients selected as a symbol of wisdom.

-

Those from the south, it is true, entertain me with their stories of horses

and it is excessively pleasant to hear these ‘four in a hand’ gentlemen tell tales of their exploits.

Those from the east have often induced me to doubt the existence of wise men of yore,

who are said to have flourished in the quarter

And as for those from parts beyond the seas, oh!

My master ye shall hear more from me anon!

-

If anyone wishes to know my opinion of the irish and scotch,

well she may come to me and ask and I will give her nothing but the truth.

But the french…I must confess are my favourite

and I have taken more pains to argue my cousin Pindar out of his antipathy to them,

than I ever did about any other thing.

When, therefore, I choose to hunt a monisour

for my own particular amusement,

I beg it may not be asserted

that I intend him as a representative of his countrymen at large.

Far from this——- I love him, that right merry monisour as he possesses the true secret of being happy; which is nothing more than thinking of nothing; talking of nothing, and laughing at everything.

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